Interesting Article: The No. 1 secret to their success—and parents should teach it early

Great article here.

According to Jennifer Breheny Wallace:

“During my six years of researching hundreds of high-achieving kids, I’ve found that the real engine behind long-term success is believing that your worth comes from your inherent value and your ability to make a positive impact on the world.”

Her key points are here:

Cultivate a mattering mindset early on

We have to help our kids build a mattering mindset from the start. When children know they are valued despite the outcome, they are freed to take healthy risks, to learn from mistakes, to push harder, and to recover faster.

1. Get a PhD in your child

Become an expert in who they are. What makes them light up? What challenges do they hide? What strengths might others overlook? The more we understand their quirks and talents, the more they feel seen for their unique selves. Feeling known and loved is powerful fuel.

2. Remind them their worth is non-negotiable

When your child fails — gets cut from the team, bombs a test — remind them their value isn’t up for debate.

One mother I interviewed uses this exercise: She holds up a $20 bill. “What’s it worth?” she asks. Then she crumples it and dunks it in water. “What’s it worth now?” Still $20. No matter the setbacks, its value hasn’t changed, and neither has theirs.

3. Get curious, not furious

All children want to do well. If they aren’t thriving, take a step back and ask why. Is it an undiagnosed learning difference? A social conflict? A teaching style mismatch? Struggles are clues.

When we express anger over a child’s performance, it can break the parent-child connection. Curiosity preserves your relationship, and is a gateway to clean fuel.

4. Celebrate their ripple effect

Let them know when their actions make a difference. Whether it’s comforting a sibling, brightening a friend’s day, or coming up with a clever solution, take the time to remind them that their value goes far beyond their achievements.

5. Let your face light up

Too often, we’re so focused on preparing kids for the future that we forget to show them the joy we feel simply by being their parent. At least once a day, show warmth and affection regardless of performance. Let them know they are just as cherished on a bad day as on a good one.

If I could offer one piece of advice to parents this fall, it would be to worry less about the grades and more about the mindset you’re helping cultivate in your child — the one that fuels lifelong achievement.

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