‘Cringefest’ videos remind us of COVID stupidity’s dizzying heights

Just after the country’s first lockdown was announced I went to the supermarket.

Big mistake.

I live in a small settlement just outside of Auckland and our local grocery store is a compact building with only about half-a-dozen aisles. It has all the essentials – meat, veges, fruits etc.

The aisles are thin, much more so than the ones you’d find in the big city or suburban supermarkets. Pushing a trolley down them can be a tight squeeze if someone is coming the other way.

When I arrived I was greeted by the sight of a full carpark and a line of people with empty trolleys standing in single file outside, waiting for their turn to go in. A security guard stood sentry at the door. The audio of his walkie-talkie on loudspeaker pierced the uneasy silence.

I lined up, and waited for my turn.

An hour later I finally got inside the store. My elation at having crossed the threshold soon dissipated when I saw the lines at the checkout, which stretched all around the inside perimeter of the building. The whole village appeared to be stocking up on triple ply loo paper. It was going to take me another hour just to get out.

There was no funky ‘supermarket music’ coming over the in-store speakers – even the Dave Dobbyn and Crowded House tunes had been cancelled – only the sound of the beeps of the checkout scanners drifting over aisles.

I hate wasting time, so determined to get the shopping done as quickly as possible. First aisle – veges, fruit and beverages was sweet – breezed through it without much trouble or delay. I turned the corner into aisle two.

There, my eyes first perceived trouble.

A rotund lady was standing at the chocolate section, unable to decide between Whittaker’s or Cadbury. She would take a block from the shelf, closely examine the front and back of the packaging, put it back, then repeat the process for the next flavour. It appeared she was going to do this for every block of chocolate. Meanwhile, her unattended trolley drifted aimlessly in the aisle a few feet behind her, overloaded with the aforementioned triple ply. Its diagonal placement made my progress past it impossible.

I came to a stop a few feet away, hoping my mere presence would alert her to the fact her trolley was blocking the way, and to do the courteous thing and move it.

No such luck.

It’s not as if she wouldn’t know I was there. She could have easily seen me from the corner of her eye, and heard the squeaking wheels of my trolley as I approached.

I cleared my throat, hoping that noise would grab her attention.

It didn’t.

Meanwhile, a bottle-neck was forming behind me, as other shoppers reached the blockage point.

‘Sheezuss. What am I going to do?’ I thought to myself.

It had become apparent to me that this lady was actually deliberately blocking the aisle, and couldn’t give two stuffs about the fact that everyone was waiting for her to get out of the way. Instinctively I grabbed the handle of her trolley to move it.

Suddenly, she came to life.

‘DON’T YOU TOUCH MY TROLLEY!!!’ she screamed.

‘I’m sorry but you’re blocking the way, and people want to get through,’ I replied.

‘I DON’T F***ING CARE!! JUST DON’T TOUCH MY TROLLEY!!’

By now I’d moved her trolley and opened a gap, and took it.

Above her mask I saw abject fear in her eyes as I passed by.

‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING????!!!!!’

‘I’m doing my shopping.’

‘DON’T COME NEAR ME!!! STAY TWO METRES AWAY!! I HAVE SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS AND CAN’T AFFORD TO GET COVID!!!’

The security guard appeared as I turned into aisle three, puffing. ‘What’s happening? All good boss?’ he asked.

‘Yeah all good bro.’

‘Can you get me some sanitiser??’ she asked security, ‘HE touched my trolley.’

Looking back on the incident now, it seems so comical, that I struggle to keep a straight face. Thankfully it was the first and only time I experienced the alarming condition of ‘COVID Stupidity’. When I think of that lady, I wonder where she is now – probably triple boosted and living scared in some cottage, wearing a face mask while gardening – that’s if she’s still alive after three doses of the mRNA injection. I regularly shop at the same place and have not seen her since.

The most surprising aspect for me was the shocking language she used, the strength of her voice, the hate and fear in her eyes.

But when you look back at the cringefest COVID propaganda of the government and legacy mainstream media of the time – at the start of the ‘pandemic’ and then later the mRNA roll-outs, it’s easier to understand the context in which this stupidity arose, even if for some people that realisation has only come with hindsight. After all, this was the Age of the Vaxathon Super Saturday, and free KFC for jabs for South Aucklanders in the midst of an inter-generational obesity and diabetes crisis.

‘Cringe’ – it’s that feeling we get looking back on the things we did and said in the past which have become outdated. At a society level, it’s normally something which is described with reference to ‘decades’. For example, as a teen of the 80s I used to look at photos of my old man in the 70s and cringe at his flared trousers and sideburns. Then in the 90s, the 80s style went ‘out of fashion’, and so on.

The COVID cringe has taken less than 2 years to develop – a sure sign of the absurdity of pandemic and the government’s policies.

Let’s now take a trip down the COVID stupidity Memory Lane, never forgetting there’s still a group (diminishing in size each day, thankfully) of New Zealanders who think boosting and masks ‘are safe and effective’.

???? ???????????????????? ???????????????? ???????????? ????????????????….???????????? ???????????????????? ????????????????????…???? Never Forget what they made you do and most importantly… Don't forget how stupid you were to listen….???????????? pic.twitter.com/XlNWQe6GbK

— ???????????????????????????????????????????????????? (@risemelbourne) August 7, 2022

BREAKING NEWS

Free KFC popcorn chicken if you get a jab.

For details, see: https://t.co/4TBPxGMO5R pic.twitter.com/9cE3kNXDJS

— Aaron Incognito ???????????????????????????????????????????????? (@AaronIncognito) October 12, 2021

Who remembers? Yes, you paid for it!
Sooooooo funny, they are great! I wish I could hang out with them. #ResignJacinda pic.twitter.com/tF0HRJd717

— Toyohashi Man (@KiwiMusashi) August 7, 2022